Thankful

As many of you know I returned to Haiti with Megan.  For months I have been praying about coming.  I went back in forth on if it was the right thing to do but finally we booked the tickets and started making plans and I am so thankful that I did.

Many people have asked me why I was going back.  It was hard to answer that because even in my mind I wasn’t sure why but now sitting here, taking it all in God has given me such a clear answer.  I had to come back and take a look back so I could move forward.

We left Haiti burned out.  We left defeated and a bit wounded.  During our time in Haiti the challenges were endless and left us wondering were God was in all of it.  We came back  and wanted to forget and we tried really hard to just wrap the memories in a nice box and put it away on a shelf somewhere never to open it again.  The reality was that I didn’t want to forget.  Haiti held so many memories for our family.  It was our home for a season and we were forever changed by it.

We lived in the Grace House and God has been so gracious to me the last few days.  You  know when your going through a season of suffering and you wonder “why”.  I wrestled with that for a long time, I couldn’t see the purpose of it all.  Many of you don’t know the in and outs of our time in Haiti and the specific challenges we faced but it was complicated.  We knew there were some changes that needed to happen and spoke into that often.  Today friends, I can see clearly the purpose in the suffering.  Our voice was heard.  Changes have been made and God has filled me such a peace knowing that it wasn’t wasted.  God has given me such a gift  to see things with fresh eyes.

It has been so good seeing friends again.  Talking with the staff again and even walk through the Grace House.  It has been vacant since April and remodeled to welcome the new house parent who ironically moved down while we’ve been here...that’s how gracious our God is.  I see bits and pieces of our life scattered around campus and it has been so good to just remember the sweet times we had here.  We’ve been able to spend time with two of our kids we cared for and let me tell you I got the biggest hug from one!  It was been so sweet to see how much progress that they both have made.  

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose.”   He sure does friends!  Whatever your going through right now and you can’t see the good, don’t stop trusting, keep pressing on because He will show you and He will never  waste ANYTHING.

I will leave this place on Tuesday with closure and that is only by God’s grace working in me. 

Haiti and COTP, will always be a part of our life and I will choose not to forget because God has meant me in this place, over and over again and He has done a transforming work in me through all of it.  To HIM be the glory!

Looking back....

As I sit in my cozy living room, the house is quiet, the snow is falling and I have a million things I should be doing but instead I am taking some time to reflect.   It will be one year since we left Haiti.  Lately I have found myself wanting to go back.  I want to smell the smells, drive the streets and take in the sights.  I want to walk the road outside the gates on early mornings and dodge cattle and be greeted by each person walking by.  I want to enter the gates of COTP and walk the path to the Grace House.  I would love to be greeted by the nannies and have a conversation with them with the very little creole I knew and taste their delicious rice n beans.  Much more I would love to hear the voices of the kids we cared for yelling my name the minute they seen me coming down the path.  I want to walk up on the roof, hang my laundry out and look over the sugar cane fields and to the beautiful mountains that were my backyard every day.   I want to go back to the simplicity of life in Haiti.

I love these people.  They have taught me so much about how to truly love others...we surely didn't have it figured out and we messed up a lot but I learned so much from these people.   I am also so thankful that three of these kiddos are united with their forever families.  It is such a joy to get updates from their mom's and see pictures of how they are growing.  Please keep them in your prayers as they all transition into a new normal.

But here we are one year later and I can't help but reflect on God's faithfulness and how He has sustained and carried us through a year of transition.  If I think back to last year we were is such a different place.  All of us just surviving, barely keeping our heads above water.  I can't help put praise God for His goodness and love shown to our family.  He has healed broken hearts, He has healed emotional wounds, He has brought love, joy, and laughter back into our home.  He has blessed Kevin's business more than we could imagine.  My heart is just full of gratitude.

Haiti was hard but I can say I feel incredibly blessed to have walked that road of brokenness.  I am thankful how God used Haiti to change my heart and transform my life.   How he used challenging situations to make me who I am today.  I know I couldn't see that then but God sure was working and walking with me each step of the way.   His purposes where so much greater than mine and I am so glad we said "yes....send us".


                                        

I love this song from Matt Redman...it speaks so much to my heart

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we've come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

I have a longing to go back and praying to know when the time will be right but today I am holding onto the sweet memories and thanking God for them and praying for God to show us how he will use our family in this coming year.

Merry Christmas with love,
Sarah

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

Reflections and Pictures

One month has passed since we boarded a plane and returned to Michigan.  Many people have asked how we are doing.  Here's a brief update and some pictures from our final weeks in Haiti.

The kids have settled into a good routine.  They are all in school and doing really well.  They love their 5 minute ride to school!  Megan is playing basketball for the very first time and enjoying it.  She is learning to play the clarinet and all of them are meeting new friends.  We are thankful for the warm welcome that Borculo Christian has given us.   They are also enjoying connecting with church friends and being involved in Cadets and GEM's.

Kevin is working really hard on getting our house finished.  I am so thankful for his dedication and hard work.  It is going faster than I thought it would.  He is starting to line up some work and it is amazing to me how God is providing that at just the right time.

I am holding down the home front, working 2 days at Crazy Horse, going to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), and running kids to where they need to be.

So how are we doing???  The first few weeks we were catching our breath and almost felt like we were still on vacation and would be returning to Haiti.  By week 3 the reality set in that we weren't going back.   The reality that we wouldn't be seeing the kids again hit me last week and its hard.  I miss them deeply.  Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how they are doing.  I am grieving that loss and its not easy.

Transition is not easy.  Its sometimes painful.  It sometimes feels like you are just floating, looking for a safe place to rest.   But God doesn't change.  He is the constant in our lives.  He is the good shepherd who is leading us as we figure out life after Haiti.  He is the one who understands our hearts.  He understands our pain.  He is our good, good Father.

P, C, L, F, Z..Aunt Sarah loves you all and we pray for you daily.  You will always hold special place in my heart!

Megan with her crew!  This girl is pretty amazing.  As we were driving to the airport that day she said to me, "Mom, thank you.  Thank You for giving me this experience.  God has changed me and I will never be the same."  AMAZING!! 

Keagan and his buddy!

Last car ride to school!

Hannah and her teacher!

Hannah can not figure out why she has to sit in a carseat in Michigan!  Not near as much fun as Haiti!

Beautiful women who give of themselves daily!

Man, we sure miss the weather and sunshine!!!

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

Day away!

Today was one of those day that I want to remember.  We took our kids and the Joy House to Deep River Mission.  We have a volunteer group staying there so they invited us over for a morning of games and swimming.  I was a little abrehinsive since we have never taken all the kids out and to top it off we were taking 7 extra.  It went so well.  We took a long 7 nannies, Val, and the volunteers were there too.  The kids loved the water.  It was such a sweet morning and it was refreshing to my spirit to see the joy on all the kids faces.

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

Birthday Pictures

Last night we went to our friends for dinner.  Melissa truly has the gift of hospitality.  She went out of her way to make me feel very special!

Party with the Joy House!
Look at all these faces!  I am pretty blessed to be a part of these little people's lives.   

We ate donuts!  All day the kids asked when we were going to have cake.  That's a big deal for them. Amy Doorlag made so pretty yummy donuts that we enjoyed.  Tomorrow we will eat cake!

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

 

Pictures

We recently had some pictures taken.  I loved them.  I laughed as I looked through them, trying to find the perfect one where everyone was looking.  I didn't find that perfect one, but what I did find was real life.  Real, messy, crazy life.  We aren't always all smiles in the Grace House but we are growing, learning, and living life the best we know how.  We live life in light of the amazing grace God shows us each day.

Megan loves this sweet boy.

Yup! I sure do love this man.

Seriously!  THIS IS THE BEST!

I love these people.  I can't believe this is my life.  God is good.  In the hard, the messy, and the brokenness,  He is working and teaching me so much about love, life, and true joy and contentment.

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.